you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
