bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
