drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
