hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
