We're facebook friends in real life
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
