Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
