First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
so much tequila, so little girl.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
