Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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