sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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