would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
