Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
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