Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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