Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
