i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
