Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
