we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
