I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
stop calling my apartment porn island.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
