Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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