thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
