1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
