PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
