I am puke
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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