some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
