maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He shit in the fireplace
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
