haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
