What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
