If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
