I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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