She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
