I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
