i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
