She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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