Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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