you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
