Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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