White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
