I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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