Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
