If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
