The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize