Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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