how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
