I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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