Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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