so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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