Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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