Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
