After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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