He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
