So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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