I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
