Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
