i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
