just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
