Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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