She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
