Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
