these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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