You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
