haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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