Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
