just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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