He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i now understand why vodka
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
