she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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