used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize