I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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