There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
