I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize