I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
