you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
