i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize