drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
